sorry but we're out of time

i spray painted this spider one time and it died but i think it was happy. when i want to die i want to my covered in gold so i think that this would have pleased him too. when i die i would not wiggle around like he did because that would just annoy my painter and he might get distracted and only paint me half way. that would be ridiculous, imagine dying with only your bottom bits gold or only a toenail, how bland

why do you have to be so serious all of the time

eggs are yum and can be abused in so many different ways. this particularly one is spotty but it isn't nearly as white as i am.

i think that my dog has a good life as he can get away with rolling around in poo. if i rolled around in poo all day like him it would be socially unacceptable but i don't think that is fair at all. monkeys get to fling theirs at passerbys but when i do it i face being arrested, this is an injustice of my right to do with my poo what i wish. i made it. i could also make a baby but i would not fling it as people as it might hurt the person it hit and they would sue me for hitting them with a baby.

blogspit.com

i do not like the way your keys jingle when you walk. bouncing up and down and repeating once again on your mountainous motor-boat targets is unpleasant and so are your clippy cloppy high heel walking sticks of death. don't walk through david jones department stores and think that you're tops because you probably don't buy anything, and free samples of baby foreskin skin care cream do not count as a purchase at all. this is probably what you look at all day between reapplying your lip liner and snorting something to corrode your insides to pass the time. your dog is yapping you know.

because knowing is half the battle

why do we do this to ourselves? well i don't know so i made some rings. they are tacky and horrid and are supposed to go-with-the-flow of my tentacle. did you know that if you type 'tentacle' into google images a majority of it is porn? i think i found a new hobby

costume jewellery is wicked fun, plus i got a free pen today

one day i will change my name to cornelius

"i've always wanted to try dog biscuits"

"you remind me of a friend i had once. she used to eat out of bins."

my pretty mam

my pretty mam has minuscule earlobes and i made her put these earrings on for me. she will wear them to a wedding which is actually not her wedding and they look like 3 conjoined areolas. they are made of cuter pewter and wilver silver bilver dilver gilver