one day i will change my name to cornelius

"i've always wanted to try dog biscuits"

"you remind me of a friend i had once. she used to eat out of bins."

my pretty mam

my pretty mam has minuscule earlobes and i made her put these earrings on for me. she will wear them to a wedding which is actually not her wedding and they look like 3 conjoined areolas. they are made of cuter pewter and wilver silver bilver dilver gilver

natural and not

birdy num nums

ringworm

this one time i was in ringwood and a boy i am assuming to be about twelve years old asked me for a cigarette. this was strange because there was no evidence that i smoke unless he saw a peek of my gangrenous foot concealed within my sock and shoe. i told him that i had one left but he said that it was okay and left with a strange girl. i thought they were both going to roll me until i remembered that their combined weights were probably close to my total and i left on my merry way as they departed on their pre pubescent trip to the station

what's in it for me

not the very best photos but hey, here is a garnet set in fine and sterling silver. after the hair tearing and sweat threatened brow i handed this bad boy in and now i await interrogation